Renovating without Resolutions
Everyone travels their own path
When I first started teaching, I had a naive mindset about learning. Some of my biases were pretty easy to find and remove during the first few years, and it was real wake-up call to see how different people are not only in every other aspect of life, but specifically how they took in and used information.
Add on being homeschooled K-12 before transitioning into the same space as a teacher. It felt like jumping into freezing water, more or less. Quite a shock!
In prepping messaging for my students at the start of this year, I was struggling with the same old song and dance. New years’ resolutions aren’t as popular as ever, but I still hear plenty of people from all walks of life talking about the changes they’re making at the beginning of the year. Whatever you call it, it’s lumped into the same bin:
“So what are you doing differently this year? Are you happy with your resolution? Oh, ok. Is that all you’re doing this year? Don’t you want to improve yourself more, push for greater things? I’m just saying, you’re so capable.”
Heard any of that before from a (hopefully well-meaning) family member or friend? Ugh, me too. And it’s got me thinking, maybe we should stop doing this tired song and dance.
Everyone’s goals and dreams take different destinations, requirements and skills. Why be bothered by the unique luggage, compass and map we carry in our own journey?
I’ve never been a resolution person, but tried to morph my plans into the mold. It’s not too hard, after all, to bend your goals and dreams a little to make them fit into the box everyone’s putting them in. “Oh, I love that!”, “How delightful”, or the whopper of a “Oh wow! You’re aiming for the stars!” indicating their approval (or the lack thereof) of your ideas. Your goals. Your dreams.
It took many years to learn that their opinion doesn’t matter. But we got there! Well, mostly. Still need a reminder from time to time, but we’re there. ;)
After reading this post from the wonderful Valerie Geary (which you should check out when you’re done with this), my own attitude for 2024 became clear. My life isn’t at a place where big, overhauling changes can be made. Heck, I’ve already done most of what I can manage. To be honest, I’m waiting for a lot of outside variables. Which makes life feel stagnant.
Thankfully, life hasn’t been stagnant as of late. We’ve already talked through moving past that feeling to learn new skills, making ourselves useful in new and unexpected ways. I’m still improving and cultivating my growth as a person, just not the ways I’m most excited about. I’ve learned that is life; you can improve yourself every single day, but not in the ways you want to. So that’s my word for 2024; Cultivate.
Don’t get me wrong, we still celebrated the new year. I’m working on small but meaningful changes to be a more thoughtful and kind person. Certainly to be more thankful for what life has given to me, and what was worked for. To care for and appreciate the people in life who love me for everything I bring to the table.
Those big, resolution style changes are coming too! There are flexible yet specific plans are ready to go when we reach the right stage to launch. Long-term goals and the pathways I’d like to take towards them have been scoped out. The barriers that I should expect, in and out of my control, and the methods to bypass them. And I can’t wait to share them and give updates! All of this is ready to go, but it’s not time yet.
I’ve stared at my dreams like we stare at a pot of water, hungry and waiting for a boil. Once learning that “willing it into existence” wasn’t a thing (hugely disappointing news after all the science fiction and fantasy I’ve consumed over the years), it was easier to get up and do anything else. I don’t leave them idle for too long now. They get a new bend in the road every once in a while when my goals or route needs changing.
But I can rest easy knowing that once it’s time, I just need to focus my energy on executing the plan. That’s it.
It’s never perfect and adjustments will need to be made, some on the fly, but that’s life. Having a plan I’m comfortable and happy with is enough. That plan flows with me through life wild ride, when you often don’t end up where you’d expected. But that’s ok, with some friendly faces and a plan in hand, the rest can be had.
If you’ve already come to a similar or well beyond this conclusion,on your own resolutions, dear reader, you have my thanks for humoring these thoughts. But I hope this gives you an idea for your own changes, new years or otherwise, to make life a happier and healthier experience for you and yours.
Whatever 2024 holds in store for you, I wish you success and happiness. You’ve got this. ;)
